My life as a cog

This job hunting in industry thing is frustrating. Its hard to look for a job as a cog when you had expectations of both a) running your own research project and b) starting your own company. So many dreams went down the drain in the past year. And for dream "a" it was the second time the plug got pulled on that one. So hard to readjust your expectations down. And to know that you only have more of the same to look forward to, that its all hard-scrabble for someone else and never hard-scrabble for yourself.

I was thinking recently that my food allergies are a pretty good metaphor for how I'm feeling right now - so many things I want but I just can't have. (And sure, I understand that this is true for everyone, but what therapy has given me is the permission to acknowledge my feelings, to accept that, yes, I have a right to feel frustrated about this. My life is about my story and not about somebody else's story, my feelings and not about somebody else's feelings. Its perfectly understandable that I am frustrated, and its okay. Feeling guilty that I am being foolish only makes things worse, and is also not true.).