I’ve been waking up mad, lately. I keep reliving different episodes in the company show – mostly scenes with AG where either I felt he wasn’t listening, didn’t believe what I did say or that I had any background work to justify my statements even if I told him my reasoning. Even though time has proven me right. Because my thoughts and ideas are not pulled out of my ass but are based on things I’ve read, conversations I’ve had, stuff I’ve processed and he seems not to believe anything he hasn’t learned himself. At least I know that it’s not just me – several other people have told me how difficult it is to work with AG.
But I need to let go. I feel like a five-year-old saying “that’s not fair!” which exacerbates the problem. Why can’t I let go?
One good smell: crushed mint leaves
One good taste: petite vanilla scones
One good sight: my son’s face first thing in the morning, still kind of sleepy and a little anxious
One good sound: sounds of the ocean (I’m looking for sounds to go with my blog)
One good tactile sensation: well, that would probably get my blog flagged for inappropriate content, but let’s just say that it was, uh, good
Deep breath in…slow, soft breath out. Gentle.
Hubby has been reading about cognitive behavioral therapy and has been springing different exercises on me. I really like this one – it works. But the problem with all these different exercises, mindfulness practices, meditations, etc. is that you have to want to do them, and when I’m feeling really down I don’t want to. That’s why it’s so helpful to have hubby in on it. He catches me unawares, mid-rant, and then ten minutes later I’m distracted and not as down.
The exercise is very poetic! Maybe that's why I find poetry so appealing - its therapeutic.
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