Highs and lows

Well, I made it through Sunday. The High Points: I got stuff done.

1. Found the box with the prescription number for the albuterol we desperately need in this allergen saturated house.
2. Made breakfast and coffee.
3. Helped hubby sort through the kitchen crap piles and found some important and useful documents.
4. Sent a networking email – hopefully he can dig up a contact for me to talk to.
5. Tidied AND cleaned the bathroom, sorted and started laundry, cleaned my room and did my handwash.
6. Grilled tritip for dinner.

Not a bad list, and much better than what I’ve been doing lately. It helps that I’ve finally realized that if I fill my day with activity, no matter how tired I am, it leaves little room for thinking and mulling and the inevitable crying. Which leads me to The Low Points:

1. Unfortunately, mulling and crying still happened.
2. I didn’t exercise
3. I ate like a pig
4. Despite the fact that I was not obsessing about anything specific when the lights went out, I still couldn’t sleep. Which is why I’m writing this, now, at 1:30 in the morning (this post is post posted, as it were).

Since the great disappointment from the postponing of the Philippines trip to next year (ha! I find it even less likely my Mom will want to go next year, what with two new babies in the family), I’d started building a vacation fantasy revolving around me and hubby and a tropical getaway. It started with Cabo San Lucas, until my Mom broke that bubble by telling me the water would be cold. So then it became Playa del Carmen or Belize. Then we finally looked at our finances today and saw that there really is not enough money for such a trip. Even though it would just be plane fare and food since the parents were going to give us their timeshare. This month has really been a hard one for disappointments and the dashing of dreams. Maybe I’ll just go to Hawaii by myself. It sounds kind of scary and pretty lonely, but at least I’d get the tropical beach thing and it would be cheaper than if hubby and I went together, and we wouldn’t need to find someone to watch the kids. Or maybe I will get a new, better paying job before the end of the year and hubby and I can do a splurge celebration vacation between the old and the new jobs.

And now I have insomnia again. I think I’m going to go to the doctor this week and get sleeping pills. This isn’t healthy and I’m sure its contributing to the fatness.