Tough week

It's been a tough week of cold surfaces and hard edges. Of bleak futures colored in grays and browns, and satisfaction found only in little droplets of blue, every now and then. True satisfaction is nowhere. The possibilities are passionless. Nothing matters.

I am eating too much, and I can feel the fat congealing around my middle. The food fills my belly but not my soul.

I had a job interview which I think went well. It's work I could do and do well, but do I want to? But if I don't do it, what would I do? How can I move forward in a way that will make me happy, when happiness is nowhere? It seems foolish to choose a possible future when all are equally palatable, but none are what I want to do. How to choose between mediocre choices?